buy me love

Figured it out today. My brother is trying to buy his son's love. My brother makes me mad a lot but this recent thing really makes me mad. My other nephew had a birthday but there was no present from my brother (this other nephew's uncle). Bro claimed he had no money for a present. So, a few days later, my nephew (my bro's son) is at my house, being babysat. Bro comes to pick his son up. Bro brings $30 worth of brand new toys. This sets me off but I say nothing. What the ***** is that about? How dare my bro get so much for his kid for no good reason when he has a nephew going without a birthday present. If said nephew (the bday boy) was my son, I don't think I'd ever forgive my bro. That is just uncalled for. You can't claim poverty and then spend money for no reason. So, anyway....the reason my bro spends money on his son is that he feels guilty for having a job (which he needs to support his son). I understand this guilt because I had it for a year after getting my dog. I think the guilt is bigger with a kid though. I still don't think that means Bro's son gets tons of toys (for no reason) and nephew goes without. How about spending some of that $30 on the birthday boy? Conclusion: Sometimes Bro is a big freakin' jerk. Other conclusion: Sharing feelings on here is nice and helps a bit but I think I'd have felt better if I got to scream at bro at least a little bit.

Balance

It is all about balance. That's one of the problems that my family and I have. We don't see eye to eye on the topic of balance. They think I am too strict with kids. I think I am only strict because no one else is. After all, kids need balance. You can't have everyone being really strict or no one being strict. You need to have the correct balance of strictness and _______ (whatever the opposite of strictness is). So, when everyone is mad at me for telling the kids they can't have two ice cream cones in one day, I should get to be the one who is mad. Mad at them for making me be the strict one. Who said I wanted to play bad cop all my life? Not me.

And the worst part is that this is a recent development, one that is driving me into too many fights with the family. Fights about what the kids each, fights about if they should get a time out, fights, fights, fights. When I had my first nephew, I was the fun one. His parents were there to be the 'bad cops', the ones who said 'no'. It was my job to be the fun one, to fill his belly with ice cream, to play with, to spoil and then to send home. This worked great for awhile. Then, a few nieces and nephews later, I was suddenly the bad cop. I think the more kids that showed up, the more I tried to make organization out of chaos. This is also when the others seemed to have lost the energy or will to raise the kids to be the best they can (by enforcing some rules and having BALANCE in their lives).

Yup, balance, it's all about balance.